dear child

"It is hard to write about someone who has left,
but even harder to write for someone just about to leave
when you imagine you could still venture the hope that they would stay.
Offer a final argument against their departure."



"They think I'm strange. I know they think I'm strange.
And the air just gets thicker and thicker with my 'strangeness.'

"Ah, it was a costume party we had last night.
While all the ladies came in their lavish and elaborate outfits
--gypsies and cowgirls and hawaiian gals--I came as my cat.
My outfit had felt like a home ec project gone askew.
But wait. I was beautiful. I felt beautiful. I am beautiful."

(from Ana's strangebeautiful note to Frances Cabahug)

My dear, dear child. You were so so young.

Words fail me.

(She was one of my favorite students in St. Scho.)

Image courtesy of Inhalers and Braille


Anonymous said...

Hi Mang B. It's Cornex. Found you while looking for more answers. Spoke with Jexter last night. She can fill you in a little bit more, I think. Unless you know already. We're still in shock. And possibly denial.

Urbano dela Cruz said...

hi Cornex,

sent email to Jessica last night when I stumbled onto the news. She was as shocked as I was though she promised to send me news.

please keep me in the loop.

this is so, so sad.

a.k.a. Mang B.
a.k.a. Mr. de la Pong
a.k.a. she once called me "teacher"

metaphysicalpickles said...

I know it's a shock. But then again no, not really. Ana never did things in halves. I can sense the grand finality in her gesture. She left on her own terms.

carlosceldran said...

Omygod. This is so sad.

How did she die?

Urbano dela Cruz said...

hi carlos,

it appears she chose to end it.

(I stared at that line for a long, long time after I wrote it.)


trinity said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Urbano dela Cruz said...

reposting for trinity
(redacted her email address)

trinity said...


My GOD. I cannot believe that this is true. I hope we can get in touch. Please email me and I will call you if that it alright.

I'm so happy I found your blog.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mr. dela Pena, I hope you are well.
I heard the news from a colleague. Like Ana, I am a speech-language pathologist. We both went to UP Manila; she taught Neuroanatomy when I was majoring, and when I was an intern she supervised me. She was a great girl.
How have you been? Best regards,
Kathryn Pangasinan

Urbano dela Cruz said...

Hi Kathryn,

weren't you in 2-I?

I was a bit surprised when I read your note, esp. about Ana teaching Neuroanatomy. ---Only because I guess part of me will always remember all of my former students as 14 year olds.

You girls were barely out of your childhood when you were in my classes.

How are you? And how are the rest of the 2-I girls?

I'm fine. Sad, but fine. send me an email - urbanodelacruz at gmail and i'll reply though my personal email.

Benjie a.k.a. Mr. dlP

Maria Regina said...

Hi Mang B,

It's Reg (Regina) Villaluz...I hope you remember me....

I got the news via yahoogroups and tried to find out what happened. I stumbled upon your blog while looking for answers. I hope there is a way for us to email, I'm based in NYC. I was hoping to find out more before emailing Bettina who's in Spain. This is indeed very sad. So young, so much promise...

Urbano dela Cruz said...

Hey Reggie,

of course i remember you!

you were tall, thin, braces, and bob hair in your senior year.

you thanked me for "letting (you) pester (me)" in the grad pic you gave me.

this was the only real news i could find. but am in touch with Jessica.

email me at urbanodelacruz at gmail -and I'll respond from my personal email.

how are you and how is bettina?


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